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Lack of inhibtion for my belligerent condition This song of ours will rise I've got nothing on my own I will not be silent I will sing I will sing
I will not be quiet
I'm alive and I will sing!
My account expires in 6 days and I'm not going to renew it. bumblebee is absolutely fantabulous and a gem. ::squishes:: Thank thee for all the hugs, they're much appreciated. I'm going to go back to the job searching momentarily. I've been thinking about this for a couple months now and have decided that, once this paid account expires, so too does this journal. Far too many people read it and it's nothing against them, but my life is not something to be gossipped about when I'm not around. I shall keep up rambling_writer, no worries. ;) LJ's served me well for the last three years, I shall miss this. But it's time to move on (okay, now I have Jet's 'Move On' in my head...). :)

emotional (im)balance: content content
music to my ears: Kings of Leon's 'Genius'

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I need a hug...

emotional (im)balance: confused confused
music to my ears: and fearful of never finding a job

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If you have any inclination for Christian music..or just damn, good music, download (or get me to send you) Capstone's version of 'Step by Step.' I've been in love with this band since I first heard them at my church. They're an incredibly talented band and it's a total treat when they lead worship at church. They also do an amazing version of 'All in All'--it's a medley of 'All in All' and 'Create in Me A Clean Heart.' I was listening to the last song in the car with my mum and she asked me if this was one of my favourite songs. I said yes and she mentioned that she had listened to them both constantly when she was pregnant with me. I thought that was rather neat. 'All in All' is definitely a song that makes me think of being little...it made me feel so...safe. Still does. Cute little continuity thing though. Kind of like how I was told that a priest was walking down an aisle, stopped, turned toward my mum and blessed her stomach (again, while she was pregnant with me). That gave me shivers. Those who know of my skirtings of death can understand why. Faith's a pretty awesome thing. ;)

emotional (im)balance: groggy groggy
music to my ears: Capstone's 'Step by Step/I'll Do My Best'

you should see the stars
I can't begin to explain how much I love this band and this album. I put it on and it's like insta-calm. I get these feelings of peace and love welling up inside me and I don't know why. I can't say I mind though.

I haven't napped and I thought I'd be okay but I don't know. I won't be much company for Claudia tonight if I just fall asleep on the couch. I think I'm going to actually lie down. I don't want to drive when I'm this tired.

Also, bumblebee, I don't know where you are and I'm worried. I've not talked to you in what feels like a week, you're not on msn, nor are you replying to emails or lj. I understand if something's going on but please just send a quick email to tell me you're okay (if you are). I may have to resort to drastic measures if I don't hear from you soon. ::looks pointedly at the phone::

emotional (im)balance: indescribable indescribable
music to my ears: Powderfinger's 'Pockets'

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I realise the Beauxbatons Girls are Parisian French but their accents when I read, no matter how hard I try, are Québecoise. It's rather amusing...at least, it is when I'm supposed to be studying Québec history...

emotional (im)balance: amused amused

you should see the stars
To the UK dwellers on my lj (or random Brit walking through...), do you seriously eat kippers at breakfast?? I've never known what they were so I just asked my dad and he told me. Apparently he's fond of them. Then again, he likes liver so..... ;) But yes, am curious now...anyone? anyone?

emotional (im)balance: curious curious
music to my ears: the traffic of the QE drifting through the deck doors

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Mraw. Am so freaking exhausted as I didn't fall asleep until 2am and then woke up at 7:15am to go to AquaFit. Am going to go for a nap before I attempt to do any studying as I'm liable to fall asleep and drool on my notes...moving on though...

Happy Birthday, Lynsey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

emotional (im)balance: drained drained

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...when I want to go to bed, not because I'm tired, but so I can take my new insulin.

...and when I get a little thrill out of the fact that the insulin has been sitting on my desk for 8 hours and it hasn't separated because how cool is it that my long-acting insulin is clear?! Dude!

/dorkish squeeing over insulin (but I can't help it...I just get such a geekish delight over the fact that I have smuggled insulin!!) :p

emotional (im)balance: geeky geeky

you should see the stars
Exactly one month until my birthday...

And it's 14 years to the day since I went into the coma which was supposed to kill me or make me a living vegetable. Muahahaha. I showed them. Ahem, yes. Not that I'm bitter (Dr. Ehrlich you evil, evil man who was a right bastard to my parents while I was out).

And there are your random facts for the day...

emotional (im)balance: busy in a cleaning frenzy
music to my ears: Matt Redman's 'Holy Moment'

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Even after 15 years of listening to this music, it still makes me cry. As much as I love Cabaret and Rent (and everything else in between), nothing compares to the music of the Phantom. It's stunning. I can hear so much more emotion in this music than any other musical out there. Heh, and people wonder why I like opera and classical music. In so many ways, they relay emotion far better than an acoustic guitar and a sultry voice. I just want to spin around the room and get lost in the music.

There's something about musicals though that transport me to being four years old, sitting in the Royal Alex with a smile on my face and on the edge of my chair as I watched the tale of Huck Finn be revealed through song and dance. That wonder has never left me and when I saw Phantom when I was 8, I was left speechless (it does occasionally happen with me...). It made me cry at 8, at 9, at 12, and at 17. And even sitting here listening I'm moved to tears. I don't expect many people to understand as I'm constantly mocked when I talk like this. And for those who mock, I pity.

I can't imagine my life without music. I can't imagine what it would be like to listen to a song and not hear anything except whether or not it's popular. Music is a way to tell a story. Not just through the lyrics but through the notes, the movements, the tempo, etc. It speaks of joy, pain, struggles, love. Through a simple note a complicated emotion is revealed. And to be able to put it together in something as stunning as a musical like Phantom or an opera (La Bohème also reduces me to tears) or a beautiful classical piece, just amazes me. Any music amazes me really, that's able to relay so much through so little but there will always be a softspot for this haunting play (no pun intended :p).

Music has the power to make a person cry, laugh or smile (as exemplified by my father just walking through the door, exclaiming with a smile, "Hey!" and then walking up the stairs, whistling along). It can depress you, comfort you, cheer you up and make you feel incredibly loved. It inspires, motivates and challenges you. It's something that we hear every day but more often than not take for granted. So next time you hear a song, I challenge you to really listen to it. Hear the lyrics, but also hear what the entire composition is saying. And if you're really up for a challenge, listen to a classical piece and hear what that's saying. Enjoy. ;)

emotional (im)balance: loved lost in the music
music to my ears: Phantom of the Opera

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yet AGAIN more dollsCollapse )

emotional (im)balance: bored bored

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A few songs have refused to leave my head since camp and a couple particularly have been in my head today so here you go:

We're going back to the 19th Century for this one...Collapse )

All of MeCollapse )

Another Oldie but goodieCollapse )

emotional (im)balance: calm calm
music to my ears: Tim Hughes' 'Here I Am to Worship'

you should see the stars
My 50 icons ran out and my account is going to run out soon, too. :\ Bah, once I pay again (not 'til September, most likely), it's going to be a pain in the arse to re-upload everything. I'm far too lazy for my own good, me thinks.

valderie and I rented Chasing Liberty tonight. What can I say, we were in the mood for some fluff. It was pretty bad but had some great lines...but as I commented to Valderie whilst watching, you know we're getting old when the "old" couple storyline is more appealing than the main one.

emotional (im)balance: sad sad

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I feel old...Collapse )

more spamCollapse )

emotional (im)balance: amused amused
music to my ears: Tim Hughes' 'Beautiful One'

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I know that the majority of my flist is not that spiritually-inclined but I'm asking you guys to please pray for me. I just got my camper list and I'm starting to go into panic mode. I have 8 girls and I'm on my own--I don't have a Jr. Counselor, like I did before. Of these 8 girls, one is 12 going on 13, 4 are 14 and 3 are 13 going on 14. So I've got 7 girls who are going into Grade Nine and one little sister going into grade 8. I'm terrified. I don't need messages saying I can do this, because, although I'm scared, I know I can. I just want to to know that there are friends praying for me and praying for my campers. So I'm giving a list of things to pray for. If you can do it, please let me know. I'm going to send out an email asking people to do this as well.

Coll's List o' Prayer Requests

For strength in dealing with any problems that may arise
For the campers who are away from home for the first time
For sanity
For Coll who has never dealt with this many "angry-aged" kids on her own, that she can deal with the hard questions that are sure to be thrown her way.
For wisdom in answering previously mentioned questions
For the non-Christian campers: that they may feel comfortable in a Christian environment and confident asking questions
For the Christian campers: that they are able to ask the questions that are running through their minds, particularly those coming from a background where question asking is not encouraged.
For all the campers: that they make take the theme of "Extreme Makeover" to heart and realise that it's not all about appearances
For Coll who has to give a talk on Surrendering and Trusting God, something with which she struggles daily
For all the other counselors, that they too may have strength, wisdom and perseverance.
For Coll, that she can connect with the girls.

Thanks in advance.

emotional (im)balance: nervous nervous
music to my ears: David Crowder Band's 'Banner Over Me'

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I may be going downtown Tuesday, July 20th to Lee's Palace for the Scissor Sisters show. It's $13 and I'm just trying to figure out if I have to buy advanced tickets (b/c they are selling advanced) or if I can pay at the door (I can't see why I still couldn't do that). Anyhoo, are any of you interested? Let me know.

emotional (im)balance: hopeful hopeful
music to my ears: Hawksley Workman's 'Anger as Beauty'

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Open invitation to all those in the GTA: tomorrow night valderie and I are going to Street Festival in Toronto, in particular we'll be at the Young & Eglinton venue from about 6:30 on. We're there for Hawksley Workman at 9:30pm, but there are two other bands playing before him that we'll be checking out. So come and join us if you feel so inclined. There are 4 other venues if you want different music. More info can be found here. Go out, discover your city and have fun!

/me sounding like a Discover Ontario commerical

Also, I added another picture here (at the top) of my hair. I didn't like the other pics...this one was taken later on, after my hair had been up for awhile and I'm much happier with the result. ::embraces the new 'do::

emotional (im)balance: bouncy caffeinated
music to my ears: Tim Hughes, et. al. 'History Maker'

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FYI: LJ's not notifying me of any comments so if I'm not replying, it's nothing personal...

...and in other news, I feel like a MacDonald's worker as I have a headset on so I can paint and talk at the same time. 'Course even though I'm done painting, I'm still wearing it (had to be able to type, naturally). ;)

emotional (im)balance: disappointed not impressed
music to my ears: the Whitlams' 'Buy Now, Pay Later'

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I am so disgusted with my country right now and with people's pathetic-ass remarks about the Conservatives. You don't want to support them? fine by me, I'm not a totalitarian and that's your prerogative...but do some research before you start using empty ammunition against them. Look up the word referendum.Now apply that to Harper's policy of referendums for abortion and same-sex marriages. Do you see where I'm going with this? It's a little difficult to say, "he'll take away a woman's right to choose," when he's putting it before Canadians to decide. NEWSFLASH: There is nothing in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms on abortion. NOTHING. Why, you ask? Because they had a law banning it, then they ammended it so that you could if you were approved, then it was, wait for it...removed. And it hasn't been touched since. So it's a limbo sort of issue...it's neither legal, nor is it illegal. It just...is. And the Liberals aren't going to be touching it anytime soon. Why? Because that man who you're convinced is going to to "defend" your right to "choose," is a) pro-life, b) backed up by a minority government of which a significant amount do not agree with abortion and c) is not that politically stupid that he will address an issue that sensitive. Harper has balls, Martin? Well, I think he lost them with that hundreds of thousands of dollars...or maybe it was with the 2 billion sunk into a gun-registration programme that was doomed from the start (here's another newsflash: the guns that are causing crimes are not the guns that are going to be registered...).

The next big issue on the Liberal smear campaign was Harper saying he'd send the CDN Military into Iraq. See, he did say that...but the media also left out the next part of the sentence..."if/when it's sanctioned by the UN." Chrètien refused all together (probably since he knew we lacked both the funds and the equipment) but Harper agreed if the UN did. But that's what Spin Doctors are for. To take that comment, chop off the end and most important part and feed it to the public so they can start screaming anti-American and anti-war sentiments. Don't get me wrong, I'm a pacifist and don't agree that, even if the UN sanctions military action, we should fight. This was then made all the powerful with Harper's determination to beef up the Military. God bless the man. How can anyone with a heart agree with sending our men and women out to be peacekeepers with the pathetic equipment we have? And before you start shrieking about Mulroney's military cuts, the big cuts actually started with Trudeau. I'm proud that our military is used for peacekeeping. So many people mock but I don't think they realise that we lose people that way. A lot. But no one hears about it unless you start investigating societies like Doctors Without Borders/Médicins Sans Frontières, Amnesty International and the Army's site and other resourceful sites. We're the laughing stock of the free world and we're so determined to prove we're non-militaristic (which I do see as a snub at the US) that we're willing to send these people out there without adequate equipment.

Next up is Harper's desire for relations with the US. Contrary to popular belief, I am not anti-American. I am anti-Bush, which is another reason why I loathe Martin. He's too busy kissing Bush's ass when he's in the States to actually get anything accomplished. The NDP are the complete opposite and want to be fully independent of them. Dude, we would not have an auto industry or an economy without the US. They are our neighbours. And the Conservatives realise this. I respect the Conservatives because, while wanting to do business, they refuse to be played or treated like a puppet. Martin's a puppet and that frightens me.

Which I guess brings me to my main point: I'm sick to death of the wishy-washy, PC-obsessed, minority over majority rights, Liberals. The Conservatives have balls and are willing to stand up against that. Which apparently makes me fascist that I think that way. I believe that minorty rights have to be protected. But there is something wrong when it's discriminatory to say a critical word against Muslims but okay to bash the Christians/Christianity right, left, and centre and treat them all as if they're fanatics; there is something wrong when a job is given based on whether or not a person is a visible minority, not experience; there is something wrong we let in terrorists, former war criminals, low-income/non-educated, etc. but refuse educated men and women; there is something wrong when the criminal's rights are protected just as vehemently as the victim's, when a rapist spends 2 years in prison but a person convicted of tax fraud, 5-10yrs and a person serving 25 yrs for double homicide is let out in 10 years on "good behaviour" (s/h'e in prison, how the hell else are they going to behave?!); there is something wrong when anytime we say a critical thing about our country, a person, etc. it's followed up by a disclaimer and an apology b/c Heaven-forbid we offend someone--you want to insult me, fine, bash my faith? fine. but don't get mad when I fight back. In short, there is something wrong with our country. And it's not going to get better....somebody recently said that the Liberals didn't do much for our country but they didn't make it worse, like, say, the Mulroney governement. To that I say, do your research. Check out financial records, defecits, crime rates, funding, etc. I think you'll see that the Liberals might not have been what you thought.

In closing, I am not saying that everyone should have voted Conservative or everyone should support them. Vote Communist, for all I care. But be able to defend your choice and if you're going to attack another party, don't give me hollow arguments.


emotional (im)balance: frustrated frustrated
music to my ears: and feeling hopeless...

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Baby N-J (no, Sarah and Andrew still cannot agree on a name) was born Saturday, June 16th at 3:30pm weighing in at 9 lbs, 1oz and was 23 and a half inches long!!!

Baby and Sister are both doing great. Some concern afterward but they fixed Sar up and she's great--tired--but great!

emotional (im)balance: ecstatic elated

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